TITLE: Life Lessons: Obligatory Baby Flour Project Episode
LOGO: “The Hunt is On!”
EPISODE #: 18
SEASON: 1
AIRDATE: February 25, 2005
DIRECTOR: Ken Bruce, Gary Conrad, Butch Hartman
WRITERS: Marty Isenberg
STORYBOARD: Wincat Alcala, Ray Angrum, Shawn Murray, Butch Hartman
ART DIRECTIONS: Bob Boyle
MUSIC: Guy Moon
APPEARANCE: Flour Sack Babies (First and only appearance on virtue of everyone of them used for cookies, the only surviving one badly damaged),Danny, Valerie, Tucker, Sam, Tucker’s parents, Dash and Paulina, Kwan
GHOST APPEARANCE: Skulker, Box Ghost, bunches of ghosts trapped in Skulker’s cage
FENTON GADGET APPEARANCE: None
LESSON: Every technology is made in Japan, oh, and Skulker, “Fatherhood for Dummies”, seriously.
SUMMARY: Welcome to “Amity Park: Life is Good”--at least if you’re not a student of Casper High where the horribly underpaid school extends to their main transportation, filled to the brim with overcrowded teenagers. It’s almost scary to think how much me and my little sister relates to this problem, having lived in a neighborhood which roughly makes up about like 50 kids who all went to the same school as we did; all having rode the same school bus to said school and back. With that many kids, finding seats were nay impossible that we only had two options: rush to the bus as quickly as possible so that you’re one of the earliest kids in line to get whatever seat you want or squeeze yourself with other kids once you find out there isn’t any more room left--half the times, kids I don’t know or didn’t like. It was a bitter struggle every single weekday morning from freshmen to senior year--a war that will live on in infamy. Fortunately, Danny has no problems since he’s flying his way to school, which makes absolutely no sense on why he took a bus prior to this when he could have just walked to and fro from school if “Public Enemies” was any indication.
Flying Danny is watched by his favorite stalker aside from Vlad--Skulker, making his grand main villain role since “One of a Kind” and now voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson instead of the more sexily voiced Matt St. Patrick. Ahh, well, we win some, we lose some. Taking out one of his bigger guns, Skulker aims and Danny is hit, sending him crashing into the town’s water tower...by a blast that absolutely did not come from Skulker. There goes the town's water supply. Skulker cries out in distress, “What?! A weapon was fired, by someone other then me!” Breaking the sound barrier with her hoverboard comes one Miss Valerie Gray, the Ghost Slayer, armed to the teeth as she aims for Danny, just barely missing and destroying the support for the water tower, and nearly squishing her. Skulker casually watches as the two beat the living dickens out of each other, sensing a formal warrior spirit within Valerie to wanna hunt her down too despite his status as GHOST hunter, not HUMAN hunter. Danny mostly tries to shoo Valerie away, not wishing to hurt her, but she’s all like, “What makes you think you can?” Honey, he’s hit you like THREE times as well as Ecto Rayed a gun out of your hand. I mean, you take out another weapon, aim it at Danny whom merely creates a hole in his body (literally) and still managed to get Ecto Blasted, so Val, who the hell are you kidding? Skulker’s more impressed then I am, so much so that he decides to pit the two together with the winner honored by him by having their “skulls as a tetherball.” That’s a nice image.
Danny and Valerie face each other with maddening eyes (Danny’s reflection off of Val’s visor is a small, neat visual effect), all ready to bust some heads until the school bell rings. The two fly off in opposite directions to get to class on time. The two respectfully transform into their normal alter ego (Val’s transformation is interesting; she uses a wrist communicator to stuff her costume and hover board away, but to where? Obviously these technology Vlad utilized must have been imported from Japan; I’ve seen clips of them making a car foldable into a suitcase--I’m dead serious, a friggin’ suitcase!). The two quickly run off to their first class: Health Science, bumping into each other on the way where they quickly make with the insults. Tetslaff immediately spots the two and quickly pair them up with their own flour sack to which they must do the cartoon obligatory watch-it-for-a-whole-week-as-their-kid-while-dealing-with-their-own-everyday-problems. “I am SO not kissing the bride.” Danny wryly states. Valerie retaliates with another, “What makes you think you can?” She’s gonna be eating those words when she gives him a peck on the cheek in a latter episode.
Other kids are seen in pairs, holding onto their respective flour bag, including Sam and Tucker who walk away with their "baby", holding onto it as if it were an effin’ box of nails then a drooling tyke. Danny spots his friends and quickly makes certain on the subject of baby watching, built so they can learn about shared responsibilities and the likes. Dash and Kwan exemplifies their share by playing football with the sack as its ball. If it weren’t for a latter scene involving Dash and Paulina as partners, I’d SO would have pegged the two as the two dads for that flour sack. Sam declares it all pointless (yeah, tell that to the 300 million people living in America that came via birthing and raising a child) while Danny declares it dangerous, having to watch over the thing with his ghost hunting rival who’s currently trying to stuff that thing inside her locker, but seemingly can’t because it’s apparently heavy (I know it’s a sack, but who stuffs a baby inside a locker?!) Tucker (who’s into this baby caring business) quickly pokes fun at Danny and Valerie--singing the infamous “K-I-S-S-I-N-G” song, only for Valerie to shove his beret in his mouth before he even finishes halfway. Funny. An angry Tucker leaves with Sam saying “our child doesn’t need to see this kind of negativity”, while Sam corrects him--”It’s a FLOUR SACK!”
Immediately Valerie gets demanding, dumping the baby next to Danny’s feet like it’s…well, a flour sack instead of a baby (hey, she did try to shove it into her locker), then showing off the chart she magically whipped up in 30 seconds pertaining to each of the “parents” schedule to watch the baby--90% of ‘em centered on Danny due to her busy schedule (and assuming Danny does not have one)--his duties determining their grades to make up for her currently terrible ones, so she’s got no desires to fail this class. The baby sack starts to cry through some record voice speaker attached to the side of the sack (which notably wasn’t there before). Danny gently rocks it, showing he has some surprisingly parental instinct while Valerie leaves, saying he better get a good grade or else. Listen, kiddo, busy or not, if you want to get good grades, you need to play your part in this, too.
A trip to the Nasty Burger after school does nothing to stop the kid’s crying on Danny’s part though, no matter how much he cuddles it. Tucker’s baby sits silently in his baby knapsack while Sam coolly drinks from her soda, complimenting Danny’s current predicament is no worse then the guy wearing the Nasty Gnat costume, harassed by four kids. I assume when they meant Gnat; they meant the bug since it has a distinct insect appearance. Tucker drags Sam (and Danny) to take a family portrait together with him. Tuck, you’re really getting way into this, grade boost or not. Skulker from atop the roof of the fast food joint scans through his cage of captured ghost (one of which he plans to eat--CANNIBAL!) and digs out Box Ghost whom he immediately silences with some mechanical gag and brings out his fishing lure. So much for “I don’t fish, I hunt” comment he claims in “Girls’ Night Out”. Tucker asks if Danny wants to take a family picture, which he declines because, “Mommy is too busy with her job to pull her weight and keep this kid quiet!” So that’s a no-go. His yelling gets both Tucker and (surprisingly) Sam to lower his voice down in front of their child, the latter quickly denying her affection. Danny’s baby then makes poo-poo, smelling of beans. Somehow the flour sack baby technology level to simulate baby waste is clearly more advance then ours, also probably from Japan. Tucker steps in to help, dumping his backpack on the ground, which extends itself as a portable baby-changing table. What did I say? Break fast technology, made in Japan, some assembly required. Danny asks where he got all these stuff with his answer stating generous internet geeks upon announcing his “sack of joy” online. At the same time, Skulker lures Box Ghost in hopes Danny would see, but he doesn’t…
…which is when his ghost sense comes loose and THEN ends up spotting the Box Ghost who spits out his gag and cries out his infamous catchphrase which, even after several lures from Skulker, NOW sends the people inside the Nasty Burger screaming like banshees. Slow folks. Danny tells Tucker to keep an eye on his baby sack, even paying him five bucks upon Tucker’s reluctance (“What do I look like? A babysitting service?”) which quickly changes his mind. Danny heads to the back of Nasty Burger where he bumps into Nasty Gnat by accident, causing the guy in the suit to venomously tell him to watch it. He apologizes, but the mascot is long gone. “Geez, is everybody a jerk this week?” Danny asks himself. Apparently so. He quickly transforms and is greeted by Valerie the Ghost Slayer who sends a chunky stake--I mean--missile at him. He crashes to the Nasty Burger drive-through menu where he angrily destroys the remaining chunks he collided into. “Oh, she’s too busy to watch the kid, but when it comes time to kick my butt, she’s front and centered?!” Danny bitterly and sarcastically asks himself. The two battle one another (nice dodging on Valerie’s part) before Danny ends up having to save Tucker’s life from the falling Nasty Burger sign due to Valerie’s missiles that missed the hybrid. With no other ghosts in sight, Danny hides and turns human to avoid risking other innocent lives due to their current ongoing war. Valerie doesn’t spot Danny Phantom anywhere, so she flies off, leaving a disappointed Skulker.
Tucker cries out to Danny on child endangerment while Sam takes her sack and lovingly wipes the grim of its face. Normally, a wet finger lick to burlap wouldn’t completely erase it off. Danny takes his baby sack, pays Tucker another five (for hazard payment--*snort*), and storms off to have a word with Valerie. He bumps into Nasty Gnat, but too angry to apologize merely states a “Please move”, powdered hand gracing on the mascot costume’s chest which Danny will spot later, but doesn’t actually play any important role--I can’t even figure it out symbolically and I’m suppose to be generally good at that from what I’ve been told. Dash and Paulina are seen arguing over their baby sack--either one unable to care for it based on their own busy schedules--until Tucker steps in with a solution.
We now see the inners of Valerie’s room as well as herself, busy doing pull-ups as the camera shows off the various walls of her room graced with newspaper clippings and wanted lists of anything pertaining to Danny Phantom and various other Ecto-oddities. Her weapons are safely planted on one side of the wall, which raises the question if she has a revolving wall or something should her father ever enter her room. I mean, he doesn’t even know of his daughter’s ghost hunting until “Reign Storm”, so to plant out the obvious--especially weapons--isn’t exactly wise. Danny knocks on her door and dumps the baby to her so she can do her half of the work, saying he knows all about her job. A panicking Valerie says if she fails, her father will kill her, so Danny slyly tells her to get her butt in gear as he waltzes out. Helpless, Valerie walks in with the baby sack as Skulker watches from afar. Declaring the sack as of importance to the two without figuring out why, he invisibly phases inside her apartment, grabs the thing, and flies back out where he reunites with Danny whom goes ghost and immediately asks him why he’s here. “Framing you,” he casually answers before screaming at the baby sack, causing it to cry. He throws it to Danny and flies away. Valerie and her gun greets Danny, the latter already shooting at him. Smart, Valerie, kill the baby sack, it’s any wonder you fear failing your health science class. Danny flies out of her apartment, gently putting the baby down on the ground out of safety for the kid and their grades. Valerie asks why he even cares while Skulker, noticing they aren’t fighting administers Plan “B”. Pushing a button, stun weapons pop out of the ground (how convenient of Danny and Valerie to be in the exact ground where he planted those things) that knocks the two unconscious.
Waking up, Danny and Valerie find themselves handcuffed. Inside Skulker’s jungle island lair, he vows to the two that “having failed to determined which of you is the superior challenge, I’ve decided to hunt you both, at the same time! *evil laughter*” The Most Dangerous Game homage, fabulous. Immediately Valerie panics and I mean seriously panics as she cries out, emphasized in all caps, “ WHAT IS THIS PLACE?! WHO’S HE?! WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?!” All as she waves her arms around, taking Danny with her like a madwoman. Danny’s blood pressure rises higher then normal since his last angry spat and gives said answers, also emphasized in caps (with some great acting from David Kaufman), “Okay, in order…THIS IS THE GHOST ZONE, THAT’S SKULKER--GHOST ZONE’S GREATEST HUNTER (Skulker grins proudly), AND OTHER THEN YOU DISLOCATING MY SHOULDER, WE’RE ABOUT TO BE HUNTED LIKE ANIMALS!” Skulker gives the two a head start and since Valerie’s too paralyzed with fear, Danny drags her first before she plays catch up, dodging any weapons thrown his way, the handcuffs resisting Danny’s powers. Valerie spots one of her weapons, the Ecto-Grenade Launcher, but fails to see the rope tied to it, so she quickly pulls it despite Danny’s warning. The tug commands hidden darts to fly out. “See, that’s why I took the time to explain the whole Ghost Zone’s greatest hunter thing.” Skulker nears them, but no amount of yelling from Valerie gets Danny up, one of the darts having paralyzed him, so she literally pulls her own weight and runs off with Danny in tow.
Back on Earth, Tucker already has four baby sacks in his care (His “Flour Power Day Care” service) with more on the way as he receives various phone calls from other desperate teenagers. These kids are gonna grow up to be sucky parents. Sam is more concerned their own bundle is getting neglected, something Tucker hardly notices even as it drops out of his baby knapsack. Sam suggests she take care of “her” while he’s busy with his job. Tucker states she’s bonding with the sack, Sam denies, and Tucker declines, putting his baby along with the other sacks inside the stroller carriage, much to Sam’s silent displeasure. She’s probably screaming inside, stuck in her own personal hell.
Meanwhile, Valerie is still in full run mode with Skulker fast approaching, gun in hand. Edging over a cliff and Danny’s paralysis worn off, Valerie takes a daring leap. Clicking her feet together, she does not return to Kansas, but she does fish out her hover board--ya got lucky there, kiddo. Skulker only grins as he charges up his jet pack and gives further chase. What did I tell ya? Determined. Danny, being more familiar with the Ghost Zone manages to convince Valerie to enter one of the many doors, eventually one of them should lead to Earth. So do these doors technically count as natural portals that Danny and his friends apparently didn’t know until “Infinite Realms” or did the ghosts manmade ‘em in which case they act similar to the Fenton/Plasmius portal? Valerie and Danny bypass the cliché, but always-amusing train-coming-their-way-door and enter another. Skulker sniffs around, sensing them nearby, “Sweat, fear…and beans, one of them has had a burrito.” Meanwhile, Tucker enters his garage where baby cribs with automatic machines that rocks them to sleep (Made in--you guessed it--Japan) are on display, each with money from the students who paid them taped to the top. The kid’s a poor sucker for the greens. Tucker lays the four baby sacks to sleep (don’t you LOVE how the animations forgot to rock the crib as Tucker places them down on their respective napping station) before getting his own baby sack only to find he’s kid is missing. Mommy Sammy is the culprit, having dressed the baby sack with a wig resembling Sam’s hairstyle (right down to that stupid ponytail), hot glued eyes to it, and just now placed purple lipstick on her. It’s basically a flour sack version of Sam whom she cuddles, “Aren’t you adorable? You are now, yes, you are…now.” That last “now” is voiced just psychotic enough that she’d probably go psycho if someone touched her kid, brandishing a knife and ready to stab even papa dearest to forever be permanently attached to the hips to that kid.
Danny and Valerie meanwhile ends up in a rather prettyful place in the Ghost Zone where instead of the usual greens and violet, we get floating islands that glow neon turquoise with matching ocean. If they had added in some shiny crystals, I’d have my wedding there. Danny moves his body around like he’s in a jazzercise program while Valerie berates that all this is his fault. Danny grabs a rock and proceeds to try and break the handcuffs as he speaks.
Danny: *peeved* Right, cuz’ clearly the maniac who cuffed and dragged us in here didn’t have anything to do with it!Valerie: *upset* Man, I’m just getting paired up with all kinds of jerks in my life.
Danny: *curious* What do you mean by that?
Valerie: *irritated* Nothing you’d know about, ghost. Some dweeb’s been giving me all kinds of static at school because of this project we’re both suppose to be doing.
Danny: *irritated also* Umm…maybe you weren’t pulling your weight?
Valerie: *pissed, also trying to break the handcuffs with a rock* Or maybe he has no idea what my life is like! A job, a second job--
Danny: Two jobs?
Valerie: *Did I mention she’s pissed?* I gotta catch ghosts like you AND raise money for college. I could have been paired up with anybody, but I got stuck with INSENSITIVE, UNCARING DANNY FENTON! *breaks rock*
Before Danny can add in some parting words (oh, if it were me, I’d add in SOME of my own parting words cuz’ Miss Gray, you ain’t entirely the victim alone), their handcuffs launch a hologram as Skulker parts words that he got lazy running after ‘em and instead lure them using the baby sack as bait Tucker meanwhile faces his own dilemma when he demands “Tucker Jr.” back from Sam whom cries out “Lilith” needs a better environment. Tucker suddenly remembers his other baby sacks and bolts, kissing his baby and Sam hastily, both of which deny that ever happened before Tucker runs out and Sam cries to get more milk--just like any married couple, and case in point, the only support outside of “Parental Bonding” the viewers will ever get of a Tucker/Sam pairing.
Danny and Valerie return to Skulker’s Island (it’s actually interesting how she hovers in mid-air whenever Valerie gets or puts out her hoverboard). Skulker stalks from afar, flour sack in hand which immediately proceeds to cry. No amount of his own brand of parenting (of which he has none, by the way) can get the little burlap to shut up. Just as he’s about to destroy it, Danny and Valerie rescue their “child” and continuously dodge Skulker’s attacks together, finally getting the hang of this teammate thing they’re suppose to be doing the whole time beforehand. Skulker grabs the two by the cuffs and asks (before he'll kill them both) why the sack is valuable to them. “It’s not the package that’s valuable, it’s how you take care of it that counts.” Valerie answers (Oh, COME ON, Valerie, you DID NOT give a flying shit about the kid and only kept it around to boost your grade, who the HELL are you fooling?!) with Danny adding, “And dude, you’re a horrible mother.” Ooooooh, so he’s a MOMMY? *snorts-giggles* Skulker holds the sack close to him, the baby farting in his direction, distracting him long enough for Danny to pull Valerie’s trapped gun, which conveniently comes out of nowhere. Okay, this has to be a different weapon--other then looking different in design; the rope is NOT tied around the gun’s middle and is instead tied to the handle. The paralyzing darts Danny was struck from earlier however, are completely different. They strike Skulker, causing him to be immobile. This makes no sense. He’s a guy in a ROBOT suit. What, did he design the thing to be capable of touch and feel? His nose itches for Pete’s sake. He’s apparently the greatest robot suit inventor of like, EVER...parts from Japan. Danny releases the handcuffs on themselves and exits with Valerie and their “child”, not before Danny blasts another of his “kid’s” fart at the fallen hunter. Tucker has his own set of problems; he enters his home to see his mother finished cookie baking…using the flour from his son’s babysitting service. It’s a new approach to the “My dog ate my homework” excuse.
Valerie is relieved the sack finally shut up; despite how ragged it looks from all the crap it’s been through.
Valerie: *dejected* I guess I was pretty harsh on you before; I never thought a ghost could be anything but trouble.Danny: That's because you never bothered to get to know one.
Technically speaking, Valerie’s hunt for Danny Phantom would--should require her to get know him as well as other ghosts, just not in the friendly manner. He proclaims a truce, which she reluctantly accepts, then asks, in an irritating tone if he can get them out of the “ghost world”. Danny corrects her by saying it’s more of a “zone” before possessing her and flying her home. Dude, does it really matter? They’re generally the same crap. Once Danny sends her to her bed and gets her to return to her normal form, he leaves her body where she immediately collapse. Either she’s very tired or it’s some sort of hidden power Danny has. As she sleeps, Danny eyes the Nasty Gnat costume--her second job. Valerie at this points wakes up, so Danny quickly transforms back and lies--saying the front door was open and he’s merely here to pick up the baby sack. Valerie responds by quickly taking the Nasty Gnat costume and threatening him that he better not tell anyone about her job. Lucky for her, Danny doesn’t possess Vlad’s mind and refuses any thoughts of blackmail, only acknowledging his discovery of her second job. She responds with the same thing Danny Phantom said to her before, “That’s because you never bothered to get to know me.” Well, Valerie, if you weren’t too busy screaming your ass off at Danny every 3.5 seconds, maybe he’d wouldn’t have been so hostile to you back so that you two CAN get to know each other. Danny still feels a prang of guilt while Valerie shows off the ragged sack in hopes he wouldn’t get mad at it’s current content.
By the end of the week, Danny and Valerie gets a solid “C” for their efforts despite Tetslaff’s disgrace at their sack, only giving them such a grade due to the rest of the sacks having been made into cookies. Later on, Tucker is forced to withdraw all the money he earned, giving it back to his peers in sadness--his babysitting service out of business. Sam is the only kid in her class with a good grade--an “A”. She watches Tucker whither in sadness with her “Lilith” whom Tucker proclaims it’s nothing but a flour sack. He throws his babysitting banner in anger, hitting the Nasty Gnat, occupied by Danny who, feeling pity guilt for Valerie for being a jerk fills in for her without exposing her job, although Sam guesses correctly anyways. In his entire defense, Valerie was an upright jerk just as well--if not more, Danny’s just more moral about it. Valerie takes advantage and spends her free time with her other job as she kicks Box Ghost’s butt in pure glee.
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Article written in: Jun. 8, 2007
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