"My folks are going to get a divorce and it's gonna be all my fault."


TITLE: Prisoners of Love: ENTER THE WALKER......Texas Ranger
LOGO: "Captivating Chaos!"
EPISODE #: 8
SEASON: 1
AIRDATE: May 15, 2004
DIRECTOR: Butch Hartman, Wincat Alcala, Juli Hashiguchi
STORY: Steve Marmel
WRITERS: Marty Isenberg
STORYBOARD: Erik Wiese, Wincat Alcala
ART DIRECTIONS: Bob Boyle
MUSIC: Guy Moon
APPEARANCE: Alicia and bunches of hillbillies plus ex-husband (1st appearance), Main Trio, Jazz, Jack, Maddie
GHOST APPEARANCE: Walker and Ghost Cops (1st appearance), Skulker, Lunch Lady, Dora the Dragon Ghost Girl, Box Ghost, Technus, Desiree
FENTON GADGET APPEARANCE: Spector Speeder (1st appearance), Camera/head phone combo
LESSON: Hillbillies can have pearly white teeth, too

Danny enters the basement lab similar to the opening scene in "Parental Bonding", only this time papa ain't fishing and Danny is reading while making his way to question his father on something we'll never know since Jack is quick to assume he's son is talkin' about his latest invention, the Specter Speeder. Shoving his kid inside, he mentions the various functions and doo-dads of the vehicle (including a super sized cup holder) until approached by Maddie. Talking in her sweetest voice ever, she asks Jack if she remembered their anniversary (May. 9) to which Jack merely brings about a quizzed look. In short, like any media fathers, no, he doesn't remember. Pissed as hell, Maddie slams her fist onto the side of the Specter Speeder, causing it to activate itself and make it's way to the Ghost Zone with Danny still inside, unknowingly to the parent's attention as Jack stands there dumbfounded as Maddie screams her head off.

Upon entering the Ghost Zone for the first time (well, sorta, he "kinda" enters in "Splitting Images"), Danny literally screams for like five seconds. This kid's got some lungs in him. That said, he enters a surreal green-ish world with many random whatevers floating and occupying the place. Danny doesn't get the time to sightsee (partially because he's scared shit) when he immediately meets up with a huge as hell Walker coming in to warn him on his trespassing. Too scared to crap his pants, Danny states he didn't know about the law, so Walker merely lets him off with a warning, one which he quickly takes as he drives his vehicle back in reverse. There, Maddie finishes her angry speech and storms off as Jack laments on her reaction towards Danny, his heart practically stepped, tossed, and blendered throughout the entire trip. That's years of therapy right there.

After another bout of familiar the theme song intro opening (anyone else think Danny's eyes look too bubbly in the title card?), Jack tirelessly clings onto Maddie's bag as she boards a taxi to go over to her sister's house. She also mentions a divorce, and then leaves as Jack watches. Danny and Jazz overhears this as well, with the former panicking some more upon hearing the word "divorce". God, with the fact that this episode came AFTER "Bitter Reunions", it's any reason the kid would panic. The last thing he needs is Vlad as his new daddy, nah, he's his future lover. *is smacked* The ever so intelligence Jazz however laments Jack will cluelessly not apologize to his wife, something he proves her wrong on by grabbing his own bag...from out of nowhere as he, too hitches a cab ride to apologize to Maddie, aiming to give her a great anniversary, favoring it over ghosts (right from the horse's mouth). Danny worries some more while Jazz worries about the fact that as far as she's concerned, for the first time in her life, she was wrong (Jazz, you've been wrong before, I'm pretty sure I even mentioned it in "Mystery Meat").

Jazz later looks through all her personal records of how many times she's been right on her father's behavior--ohhhhhh, that makes more sense, I figure she stated she was never wrong on anything period--hair strung out as she looks to have (and probably did) drank like 14 cups of Javas. She's trying to find all the evidence of her being as much right as peanut butter and jelly to stroke her ego, but is distracted by Danny, currently in ghost form vacuuming the...wall so that his mother could come home to a clean place. I rather like how interesting it is that he referred to his mother then his own dad or the word "parents". Whether it be a foreshadowing of the events of "Maternal Instincts", I do notice throughout the show, Danny will often think of his mother first over his father, indicating of the once strong relationship he once held with her. But I'm getting off the subject best fitted for "Maternal Instincts". Jazz berates Danny (he transforms back to human in time), then leaves to go to the library to do more thinking, leaving Danny alone to clean up the house. Good kid. Danny heads down to the lab which looks like a friggin' hurricane struck inside, so out of curiously and experimentation, Danny uses his Ghost Rays to push objects to their rightful place and put junks in trash cans instead of the usual method. Miraculously, nothing blows up from his blast, not even the barrels of what looks like chemical wastes as he has a blast using his powers as a shortcuts to cleaning. He accidentally Ghost Rays a present inside the open Ghost Zone when he gets a bit carried away, leaving only a tag behind. Note to self, Fenton; CLOSE the damn thing first before cleaning before something ELSE gets inside; then again, this kid Ghost Rayed the shit out of possible nuclear waste, obviously clear thinking is not in his files. Taking the tag, he reads, "Let this gift repair the bridge to our love, Happy Anniversary, Jack." Now realizing what that gift was for and where it's in, Danny's entered a whole new ballgame. I'm rather surprised how good Jack is with romantic metaphors.

Now in Spittoon, Arkansas (watch out, starting from here, you're going to be seeing a HELL of a lot of Hillbilly stereotypes faster then you could say Daisy Dukes making out with Larry the Cable Guy) Jack asks when he'll be landing (he's taking a small plane to Maddie's, occupied by hillbillies). The lady happily answers that there's no airport landings, so they dump him out after strapping him with a parachute. "Thank y'all for flying Air Grits!" Meanwhile, outside a log cabin, Maddie's sister Alicia basically states how she's been living there for the past ten years while chopping up wood, happy as a clam. Looking like she's a cross between a--well--hillbilly and a stereotypical lesbian woman, she tells her sis that she can do so much better then Jack. Alicia, meet Vlad, Vlad, meet Alicia. I think you two will get along nicely when it comes to the subject of Jack. Speaking of, the big guy's parachute snags on a tree, him covered by the chute itself causing Maddie to assume it's a ghost. Unleashing some Fenton...mini rod...pen thing, she attacks the chute, revealing Jack like some piñata prize. Now the ladies got him to deal with.

"They NEVER fight." A worried Danny tells his friends about his parent's possible divorce in school. Wait, NEVER? Care to explain the annual Christmas fights over the existence of Santa Claus that you, kid, suffered since your birth? Both Sam and Tucker tries to reassures him, Tucker himself doing a poor job, stating unless Danny's mom said "divorce", everything will be cool. Of course, she said it earlier which unsettles the boy, so baring that in mind, Danny decides to get the present back, determined to make things right, even if it means entering a place he hoped to never enter before. Very good kid.

Back in Arkansas, Alicia berates Jack to apologize to Maddie since he's been doing nothing but sip lemonade for the past hour. He gets up to do so, but ends up needing to use the bathroom. With no bathroom inside her house nor an outhouse (so Alicia does her nature calls in the bushes?), Jack runs off to find one. Maddie, still upset defends Jack anyways, "You know, in his own way, he really is trying." Alicia still doesn't give a rat's ass about him and states her single status of ten years as proof.

Back in the bottom of the Fenton household, Danny, sporting that awesome web cam communicator combo that I like so much eyes the portal with much reluctance to enter, Sam and Tucker reassuring him, the latter stating he can watch Danny's activities from his PDA, which he then proceeds to play a pointless game of Space Invaders. Danny dives in and we still see the eerie surreal backgrounds of the Ghost Zone as we did earlier in this episode, something Sam is impressed with, but not Danny. The ghost boy enters one of the many floating doors to spot a human child watching TV in the dark. Danny asks the kid if he's seen a present. The child responds by twisting his neck in full 180-degree motion, then reverting into a monster and telling Danny to get the shit out of his room; a panicky Danny does so. As he laments on his possible failures, the door he just got out of slides him down to a cemetery for some reason (they're ghosts, what ghosts needs tombstones?) where skeletons pop out from their sleep to try and--I don't know--bring Danny down with 'em? Danny flies away in time, panicking even further. While none of these scares the pants out of me, I can see why Danny would be frightened. Frankly, in his perspective, you enter a strange place and run into a giant monster coming from a creepy kid and skeletons popping out of graves, I'd think I'd wanna pee my pants right then and there.

Sam further reassures Danny while Tucker is impressed with the Specter Speeder; shocked Danny refused to take it. Sam answers that he can cover more ground on his own while Tucker plays with the button like some kid at his daddy's office before pushing the button that detects "Real World items". Real world? So the Ghost Zone ISN'T called a REAL world because in this show, it sure as hell is as real as the eye can see. Couldn't they have called it Mortal World items or Earth items? Okay, I can understand ghosts might not exactly have a 100% "real" purpose in existence, but still, it's ambiguous at best. Any who, using that in cue, the Specter Speeder apparently has the AWESOME abilities to detect human items inside the Ghost Zone FROM THE FENTON LAB instead of--I don't know--actually having to GO INSIDE IT. This vehicle must be the mechanic equivalent of a bloodhound.

Using it, they guide Danny to the direction of the present. The boy enters a magenta room filled with everyday objects of the human world floating in space as well as the Box Ghost who states this is the room the ghosts come in when Danny unleashes them from his Fenton Thermos. Then he makes more threatening remarks to a less then impressed Danny and I quote, "Beware, for I am merely one of your foes who reside in this realm, in fact, you might say...we're a packaged deal!" He's made like 3 box puns in only like a minute of his appearance--that's some obsession there. Obsession time or not, their meetings are cut short when police sirens are heard. Green ectoplasmic rays or something shoots both the Box Ghost and Danny, giving them Ecto-handcuffs. Walker then walks over and takes possession of his web cam communicator, an item not allow in the Ghost Zone according to his law, then drags both him and the Box Ghost's ass to jail for breaking his laws. Inside the Ghost Cop car, Danny basically complains about this being the worst day ever, even much worse by the time he ends up in jail and meets his old foes from previous episodes, all in prison because of him. Apparently anyone Fenton Thermos'ed is immediately jailbait for some reason. I don't get why considering they made havoc in the real world and not the Ghost Zone, but maybe that's consider a law breaker? *shrugs*

Back in the lab, Tucker and Sam have lost contact with Danny, so they have no choice but to dive in, only fueled even more when Jazz tries to get the two to help pinpoint out the many details of when she was wrong in her gazillion plus one notebooks that proved her right. Never mind Box Ghost, now THAT'S an obsession border lining on possible OCD--sorta like me. The two leave via Specter Speeder with Jazz coming downstairs shortly afterwards, claiming she heard someone, finding nobody in the lab, and then whining that she's wrong again.

Back in ghost jail, Danny (in typical black and white prisoner clothing) is chained to a metal chair as Walker reads the laws he broke, including possessing the present he's been after. He then introduces himself to Danny, "Name's Walker, son. Know it, fear it, obey it. I am judge, executioner, jury, executioner, jailer, and if necessary, executioner." He loves that part of the job, by the way. Seriously if ghosts can be killed here, how do they die? Where do they go? Do they just dissipate or reincarnate to something else or what? And apparently they call stuff from Earth "Real World items", too. Why? Do THEY believe they don't exist as real entities? God, it's the Super Mario Bros. 3 cartoon ALL OVER AGAIN. Argh, too many questions, not enough answers, in fact, NONE of these are ever answered throughout the entirety of the show, left for fans to mull over. Well, I do have plans to one day write an article on the Ghost Zone and what it is and all that jazz later down the road before I go crazy from question overload, but still, an explanation would have been nice. Danny tries to convince him to set him free, vowing to take said object back home with him, but seeing that's against the rules, Walker refuses. Deciding to be lenient since this is the kid's first offense though, he sends Danny to 1000 years in prison. Great.

Arkansas time as Jack goes to a nearby general store of three guys constantly spitting into a bucket where he asks for a bathroom. One guy suggests Alicia's rhubarb while another states that it isn't a good idea due to her anger and something about a divorce. Sensing Alicia might have given that idea to Maddie, Jack hurries to the rhubarbs anyways before fixing his marriage. Then the third hillbilly named Jasper shows off his disgusting teeth for which he is criticized by another hillbilly to get them fixed, "Yere makin' us look bad!" Making fun of a hillbilly stereotype despite the stereotype all around, what an oxymoron.

Back in Ghost Jail, Danny is sent off to the cafeteria for lunch where his foes angrily eye him with vengeance, much like high school. Seriously, do ghosts need to eat or is this one of those things where they optionally do just because they want to? And why is Technus in his robotic form then his true form as a Doc brown look-alike? Not too threatening enough for him to don prisoner's clothes as with? That piece of techno ware should have been busted down anyways. That said, Skulker, Technus, Box Ghost, and Desiree all walk over to deliver the smack down towards him. Danny runs off to the main cafeteria line where a prisoner Lunch Lady serves the food until she gets in on the action to wanting to throttle the poor kid. A crowd surrounds Danny as ghost after ghosts pushes him around till Lunch Lady holds him tight with Skulker and the others ready to beat the shit out of him. Thankfully, Danny proves he's got the smarts when he quick thinks his way out.

Danny: I'm not the enemy here! Yeah, I sent you all back to the Ghost Zone, but I didn't lock you up here, did I?
Box Ghost: It is true! He did not package us in this box of iron! (Oh, my God, box puns up the ass). I am the B--*SMACKED by Skulker (hilarious)*
Skulker: *intrigued* Go on.
Danny: If we work together, we can all bust out of here and you can always kick my butt later.
Skulker: The enemy of my enemy is my friend...for now.

So a deal's a deal and they do what Danny commands. The fact that they manage to get by with this conversation in the position they're in without the cops breaking in are amazing. Maybe they all went out for donuts. Meanwhile in another part of the Ghost Zone, Sam complains on Tucker's faith in technology, as the two are lost. She asks a nearby ghost for help, that of the then nameless Dora the Dragon Ghost girl for directions. Looking rather upset, she turns ghost immediately and STILL asks to go to the ball, then gives chase after the Specter Speeder.

Back in jail, Danny is getting beaten by Skulker ("My prey ceases to amuse me", very HOT when he says that) as the crowds of ghosts watch, every single one sporting green hairs and heads, but thankfully each looking different and not carbon copies off each other. Okay, the ghost cops must seriously consider these battles as some form of entertainment as they only decide to take Danny to the infirmary and leave everybody the hell alone. Maybe they pick on whom they deem the weakest ones. Any who, Danny busts his moves and tackles one down, taking his green batter or something and throwing it to Skulker who proceeds to tell the other ghosts to attack. So they punch, kick, have buckets of goo over their heads, have their helmets removed where their faces look absolutely grotesque (well, one of them anyways), and encase them with Ecto rings from them green sticks and whatnot. Danny then flips his way from table to table (a very cool maneuver from him, by the way) to Skulker where the two team up and fight. Afterwards, a row of cops comes and manages to tie up a handful of prisoners until LLG comes over with apples to give, none of them wanting any, so she gets back in her mood swing PMS mode and knocks them out and part of the wall with a giant drumstick, the kind you eat. No kidding. Any who, the prisoners all escape while Danny heads to a different direction until Lunch Lady tells her it's the wrong way. Danny states he has business with the warden himself and she responses with an "okay" in a voice that doesn't sound much like her's. Skulker also bids his farewell until their next meeting which won't be for another ten episodes.

Sam and Tucker are still on the run from Dora, but manage to find Danny via the "Real World" detector (Ugh). They enter the prison iron gates in haste, speeding right through it like...well, a ghost would, causing Dora to crash into it, saving the two from being BBQ'ed.

In his office, Walker demands to know what the shit is going on, only for Danny to bust inside. Danny hassles Walker for a bit before diving for the present. The ghost cop catches him by the leg though and drops him to the floor, placing his boot over his chest and basically threatening him, "Now let me acquaint you with a few rules; Rule 1: You cross me, you pay the consequences, Rule 2: Just because you're a ghost doesn't mean I can't crush you within an inch of you Afterlife (well, that sorta explains that ghosts apparently can be destroyed, apparently from other ghosts or through ghost hunting items, one assumes), Rule 3--" ZOMG SPECTERSPEEDER! Tucker and Sam quickly states how humans are basically ghosts in the Ghost Zone as a fit of irony, so Danny turns human and grabs the present as a frustrated Walker tries in vein to grab the boy, his arms phasing right through. Grabbing the side of the Specter Speeder, the trio heads home. Okay, no way in hell Danny can be physically unfit by the time of "Micro Management" if he can grab onto the Specter Speeder with those puny arms of his with that much strength and with the ships' speed, seriously. All the more reason to question MM's plothole.

Again we cut to nighttime of Arkansas where Jack, dressed in blue overalls over his jumpsuit and with a giant ball of hair like some pushed back pompadour tries in vein to win Maddie's heart back, including flowers and a poem, the three hillbillies from earlier watching from behind the bushes, lending their support. Jack doesn't get halfway through the poem before declaring this is all "stupid" and confessing his love for Maddie from his heart. Much to Alicia's dismay, Maddie is charmed, so Jack closes it off by giving her the present...which he forgot...which Maddie already knew off. Wait, how?

Any who, Danny saves the day as he and Jazz parachutes down with the gift, Jack, giddy with relief (and vowing to raise the kid's allowance) hands the gift over to Maddie and the two embrace. Danny then tries to make things clear on why the two aren't divorcing and the answer is given when Maddie host a surprise party for Alicia's divorce to which she's been for the past ten years. So the hillbillies and the Fentons have a hoedown or something, Drew Carey and his crew not withstanding. The Fenton folks later opens the present and finds the Box Ghost pop out of it. Damn, that guy wastes no time after his stunt in jail to get back to his namesake, ey? As they give chase, Jazz complains and whines some more that she's wrong once again because Jack has yet to apologize, but rather is happy with the way things are back to normal or as normal as their family can get, "I'll take being right and embarrassed over being wrong every time.". She offers Danny rhubarb pie (coming out of blue like typical cartoony fashion) which he accepts until one of the hillbillies declare it's best to stay away from said pie.

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