"I put the "pro" in Quid Pro Quo."


TITLE: Eye for an Eye
LOGO: "Cast your vote for HORROR!"
EPISODE #: 41
SEASON: 3
AIRDATE: August. 20, 2007 (American release)
DIRECTOR: Butch Hartman, Wincat Alcala, Gary Conrad
STORY: Steve Marmel
WRITERS: Sib Ventress
STORYBOARD: Wincat Alcala, Fred Reyes, James Yang, Butch Hartman
ART DIRECTIONS: George Goodchild
MUSIC: Guy Moon
APPEARANCE: Main Trio, Vlad, Shelly Makamoto, Guys in White, Fenton Folks, Jazz, Lancer, Dash, Kwan, Paulina, and other students, Mayor Montez (billboards and name only), and the entire citizens of Amity Park. Whew.
GHOST APPEARANCE: Uncreative Bed Sheet ghosts (1st appearance), Vulture Ghosts
LESSON: The episode that supports crass innuendos and the love between a bitter billionaire and a hormone-charged teenage boy.

SUMMARY: "This show place is the pure embodiment of me: larger then life, reeking of money and power, and totally impenetrable."

Say good-bye to the Vlad manor we all know and loved; the billionaire has completely redesigned his castle from the get-go. Unfortunately, this new mansion is utterly generic and has none of the appeal, uniqueness, and taste that screams Vlad. The inners fair better which still employs the general blue tones and football obsessions. Oh, and an underground lab that you may have seen before. What Marmel planned to do with it, we’ll never know. This is officially his last major contribution and the new writers chop-socked the rest of the season with nonsense and didn't bother to explain why he has it and what he planned to do with it. Jerks.

Fortunately, the manor is short-lived. Minutes upon completion, the Guys in White scatter and destroy every goddamn thing, toppling the place like a house of cards. They were informed by that "Fenton Kid" that Vlad held ghostly contraband. Since they can’t find any, he’s free to go. In Vlad’s eyes, Danny isn't. The Revenger just became the Revengee when Vlad sends the Guys in White to Danny’s room to do the same thing (just replace "contrabands" with "fugitives"). Someone actually said, "Didn’t stand a ghost of a chance". Really? REALLY?! *sigh* You guys did such a great job avoiding that piece of dreck of a line for forty episodes. Danny and his buddies watch in shock as they trash the entire room, stopping just short of the Fenton Folks timely arrival when they heard the noise.

Jack is enamored with the Guys in White (and their fancy gadgets), but he puts his foot down when they want access to his lab. They threaten him with their guns, but before they can turn Jack into Swiss cheese, Sam pops in and states they need a warrant to search. They laugh it up before they take her words to heart after she further law-speaks them. They leave to get one (or a legal dictionary). The fight ain’t over yet, "I don’t think they acted alone." Danny suspects.

Until his house is rebuilt, Vlad stays in the Regally Hotel, watching the news detailing his current controversy while taking...a...

shower...

with...no...

...clothes...

...on.

...

Naked Vlad.

Naked Vlad.

NAKED. VLAD

NAKED FUCKIN' VLAD!!!!

Excuse me a moment.

*startings leaping Daffy Duck style* Woo HOOO! WOO HOO! WOO WOO HOO! WOO HOO! WOO WOO HOO HOO! WOO WOO HOO! WOO HOO HOO! HOO HOO! HOO HOO! WOO HOO!

...

*Ahem* Moving on.

"Danny Fenton has tarnished my reputation and made me the laughingstock at Wisconsin and nobody bows down to a laughingstock!" Vlad rants as he leaves the shower (augh, fruity shower cap! Where’s the long haired Vlad we fangirls wanted!?). He hoped his little stint with Danny will teach the boy a lesson, but you should know the emotionally-crippled boy better then that. Helicopters circle the hotel he’s in as a wall that was once there turns invisible, revealing his naked body to the public and news crew, courtesy of Danny. If you time the freeze fame, you can see his ass crack.

I have no shame.

After yet another hypocritical Sam moment (she supports this prank when she opposed the first one), she asks if Danny's doing alright. His answer? "Better then ever" See, it's because from his angle, he can see Vlad’s ass and that gave the boy a puberty-inducing erection. Not one to abandon his Vindictive Creds, Vlad one-ups Danny again by doing the same thing he did; letting his Vulture Ghosts phase the wall of the boy’s locker room where Danny’s showering. Two things to notice: Tucker mentions he cleans alone; is Danny starting to appreciate the privacy he now wants or is he really that shy? Also, look at Sam’s face when she sees naked Danny.

She is DISAPPOINTED! In the future, Sam will look back at Danny’s body and decide that as the turning point to her Lesbianism.

Danny: I’m never going to leave this down!
Tucker: "Never" is a long time, but the next few weeks are going to be brutal.

The trio discuss while suffering a barrage of laughter from their peers at Nasty Burger. Sam tries to steer the subject to the upcoming mayoral elections and if it wasn’t for Vlad and the Guys in White, she’d probably be issuing her concerns on how the new mayor will handle animal controls or lake pollution or some shit. The Guys in White orders an immediate evacuation of the site in order to destroy and search for harmful "Ecto-bestos", ordered by Nasty Burger’s new owner: Vlad. "With your own extensive background on demolitions, I’m sure you’ll understand, yes?" Real cheeky, Vlad. So all the kids are forced to watch as their beloved hangout literally comes crashing to the ground. Danny threatens Vlad, but he takes that as a challenge and "I do so enjoy being the challenger."

Danny later asks his pops for something before he’s interrupted by dear ol’ dad. Election is near and he’s got his voting shoes on (literally, by the way; but bad jokes are the way of the Hartman). He suffocates Danny with supportive banners, buttons, flags, and electronic head gear for Vlad Masters. Maddie provides Danny with the exposition that he was a last-minute write in. "At least now he’s channeling his sociopathic, lonely bachelor energy into something positive, but he doesn’t care about other people!" Well, that's politics for ya. See, even Jack agrees. Danny panics and goes ghost to confront this new dilemma. "They say you can’t fight City Hall, but they never said you couldn’t fight in it!" Eh, not your best insult, Danny boy.

After a brief and annoying chat with Asian reporter Shelley Makamoto, Vlad is greeted by his future lover as he drags him under City Hall (not quite the inside he meant) for some private lover’s spout. And GOD. DAMN, do they have a field day with the innuendos ("You forgot to take your supplements; have a dose of vitamin ME!"). Notice that the background colors are also nothing but pink, magenta, and violet. Subtle this isn’t. Danny takes his battle to the skies, convinced he’s getting stronger or Vlad’s getting weaker. HA! Vlad’s more powerful then ever and he makes up for it by creating hundreds of duplicates of himself (all in black, but that’s animation for ya) and possessing every citizens who’s voting. He easily rigs the election to his favor. And what does Danny do? Nothing. He just watches in shock instead of doing something about it. No, he can’t phase everyone out, but let him do something at least! COME ON!

He finally does when his father gets overshadowed even though he’d have voted for Vlad regardless. See, because he supports and [lustfully] hero-worships the man.

"Dat's the joke."

Then out of the blue, Vlad sucker punches Danny so swiftly that it just crowned yet another moment of awesome for Vlad. We're running out of trophy room. Danny is thrown off course as Shelley reports Vlad’s victory as mayor. "What is it you young folks say? "Don’t hate, congratulate?" Oh, what do I care? Go ahead and hate." After Vlad turns human, the citizens gather around and cheer for him. I am amused that there’s a man wearing nothing but a shirt and boxers out in public, but ablaze that NO ONE cares that Vlad's atop a mangled car (that he busted when fighting Danny).

The cheers extend to the front of City Hall where Vlad gives his speech (yes, that is him doing the Nixon peace hand gesture). To put icing on the cake, he asks for Danny whom he credits for getting him in the mayoral race, not that it deteriorates Jack from praising the hell out of him. "I’m rubbing your nose in this mess you made, Danny, doesn’t it smell yummy?" ...OH. MY. GOD. It’s like Steve Marmel (and Sib Ventress) decided to say "FUCK YOU, HARTMAN" for firing him and altering his stories by squeezing in as many dirty lines and innuendos as a HUGE "Take That!" Vlad even places an arm around Danny in complete "He's mind!" manner!

*sniff* I fuckin' love you, man.

Vlad further relates to the public that he will get rid of the town’s greatest concerns: ghosts. While Sam comments her worries, Tucker relaxes and claims he’ll make a few "lame laws", nothing to cry abo-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

1. Law the First: The Technus Act, designed to ban all technology susceptible to ghost infiltration.
2. Law the Second: School uniforms, brightly colored, designed to ward off ghosts who are attracted to anything dark and Gothic.
3. Law the Third: A 4PM curfew, mandatory role call before and after classes, and heightened security to ensure safety.

And inside his office, Vlad is madly cackling laughters of evil.

Danny’s getting the worse hits as every kid blames him for his association with Vlad. With added cameras and security, Danny can’t go ghost without being seen. Unless they don't record sounds, you might not want to mention that you can "go ghost" while the fucking camera is recording! Tucker notes it may be better for Phantom to lay low as Vlad managed to convince the fickle public that his presence keeps luring the ecto-bastards. Danny declares more ghosts will arrive because of his absence. Unfortunately the boy is proven wrong again when Vlad sends his Guys in White to handle such matters with success. Danny is convinced he staged them. No kidding; those ghouls could probably pass for regular Joes in bed sheets. Come on, animators; draw Skulker or the Vulture Ghosts. We at least know they work for Vlad and their design is far more creative then friggin’ bed sheet ghosts.

The final nail in the coffin is the newly built Nasty Burger, now entitled "McMasters Bistro", complete with a giant Vlad head on top. The thought of a disemboweled giant Vlad head is too much, even for me! Unfortunately Danny and his friends and hell, all teenagers, are not allowed. All the other teens prior have been lined up in a crowd, expressing their own pouty faces...except for one kid. He seems to be taking this pretty well.

"This is the worse day of my life."

"This is all your fault, Fenedict Arnold!" Dash cries, surprisingly letting Danny get off pummel-free. Pissed off, Danny is about to go ghost until Sam points to the nearby camera. Tucker does his job and takes it down (then whispers sweet nothings to it), leaving Danny free to go ghost. He phases inside McMasters and into Vlad’s main office. "Daniel, I had a feeling you’d come." That feeling is in his pants, by the way. Is it just me or does this episode have a fetish for Vlad’s eyes? This is the third close up of it today.

Danny: Look, this goes against everything I stand for, but, I’m...sorry I...played those stupid pranks on you and I’m hoping you’ll accept my apology and stop making things miserable for me and my friends. Truce?
Vlad: How nice, a gentleman’s handshake. But you forget, where you and I are concerned, I AM NOT GENTLEMAN!
Danny: Oh, Come on! Can you even pretend to have a heart?! I’m making an effort here!
Vlad: I know! And even though that apology is a welcome departure from your usual childish arrogance, it belies a greater truth: YOU HAD THIS COMING!
Danny: But—
Vlad: NO "BUTS"! Trust me when I tell you that your life has just begun to become a relentless nightmare beyond your feeble imagination and one thing further, when I said this place is off-limits to teens that includes ghost teens!

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNNNN. "Funny, joke around Vlad isn’t here today." NO SHIT. He sends the Guys in White after him who barely blasts him out of the restaurant. I’m counting that as foreplay, damn it! "This reeks: my ghost career is over, my school career is over. Every kid at Casper hates me...more then usual." Danny, ever wonder the only reason he’s singling you out is because he wants you all to himself for lots of sex? Sam has an idea though. She and her friends gather all the students of Casper High where Danny convinces them he’s against Vlad as much as they are. Together, they can protest Nasty Burger’s glorious return. They happily agree and because it’s a protest, Sam slips in a "Do you want lies with that burger?" What did I tell you? Using Danny’s fame for her own purposes..

As they crowd around McMasters with signs and catchy phrases, the Fentons (who heard via the news) makes their way to protect their kids or kid since Jazz is nowhere to be seen. Sam is getting an orgasmic fit over this and is about to tell Danny in great, disturbing details, but the boy’s gone AWOL. He’s hiding atop the McMasters roof waiting for Vlad to arrive to start his own secret plan. Masters arrive on cue and tries to convince the children (Sam, you’re fourteen, you ARE a child) to look the other way. "Come on now, "dudes", can we "rap about" this, open up a "meaningful dialogue?" Vlad, stick to the pompous. Danny Phantom arrives to deliver his own can of worms. Jack is quick with the Ecto Gun, but Vladdie kindly takes it away to let the boy have his say. A little unexpected, but alright, good enough. "The mayor is a phony! Vlad Masters is really—"

"VLAD PLASMIUS!"

No, no, he doesn’t say that. He’s interrupted by Vlad Plasmius himself, a duplicate Vlad created. Oooh, magnificent bastard. "Oh, dear, it’s a clearly evil, yet devastatingly handsome (damn straight), ghost villain!" Vlad acts. "Check and Mate." Delicious. Duplicate or not, Danny’s "taking him down". Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah he is! He can’t be the bottom all the time. Danny gets his ass kicked across the far corners of the site while Vlad Masters tells the public of the level of menace Danny attracts. He then takes Jack’s gun and aims it at Plasmius with the intent to kill him and raise his approval rating. Danny is quick on the draw and possesses the duplicate. The glowing green eyes are still there, but his voice is pure Vlad. He’s improving. He flies around until Masters gets a hit, right behind the limo, creating a car-sized explosion.

Plasmius duplicate is no more, but caught in the crossfire is Danny Fenton. "W-What happened? I’m just a helpless, impressionable teenager who was minding my own business when—BOOM!" Sam and Tucker get in on the act while his parents cradle their child in concern. Fingers point to Vlad instantly. He recovers quickly by later repealing all the laws and rebuilding the Nasty Burger to its former glory. Then he gets his pictures taken with underage teen girls. Danny secretly reeks in jealously. Also, his lips aren’t moving while he’s talking (*SIGH*), but he makes his point clear, "Where there’s a draw, there’s bound to be a rematch."

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