TITLE: Doctor’s Disorders: Sacred Hearts this ain’t
LOGO: “It will leave you in stitches!”
EPISODE #: 22
SEASON: 2
AIRDATE: July 15, 2005
DIRECTOR: Butch Hartman, Wincat Alcala, Kevin Petrilak
WRITERS: Sib Ventress
STORYBOARD: Butch Hartman, Wincat Alcala, Ben Balistreri, Lothell Jones, Bob Pratt, Fred Reyes
ART DIRECTIONS: Bob Boyle
MUSIC: Guy Moon
APPEARANCE: Mr. Falooka (1st appearance), Danny and Tucker, Sam, Jazz, Dash, Kwan, Paulina, Star, Lancer, and just about the rest of Casper High, Jack and Maddie
GHOST APPEARANCE: Ghost Guard Twins (1st appearance), Penelope Spectra, Bertrand
FENTON GADGET APPEARANCE: Fenton Lipstick (1st appearance--because he's worth it)
LESSON: Whoops, I think I left my watch inside your lungs.
SUMMARY: In an appropriately colored evening sky to an inappropriately evening color for school hours, a one Mr. Falooka (at least that’s how I’m currently spelling his name, if anyone knows the actual spelling, please inform me) marvels at the anatomy of a giant ghost bug, then proceeds to panic. Luckily, Danny makes his timely cue and phases the insect out of school grounds. Giant mosquito shoots laser beams out of his four eyes (must be a ghost thing), then sprays our young hero with some sticky Ecto substances from it’s proboscis, magically transforming into a net (apparently inanimate gooey Ecto has the awesome ability to self-transform), capturing Danny and pinning him upside down a tree. Paulina makes her cue, bypassing until she spots the ghost boy whom she happily runs to until Danny tells her to scram. When she sees the giant bug, she gets the cue, unlike Falooka who enjoys the risk of getting eaten by fascinating over it’s grotesque design. Danny eventually lures the giant bug into the world’s longest bug zapper: the electric poles. Unfortunately, fate doesn’t shine his way like most ghost battles settled before the intro song; instead it burst into a gazillion little more of the suckers and flies towards the school. I’d say a “sucks to be you” joke, but considering the subject matter Danny’s dealing with, it’ll all be more then redundant.
After that nice little continuity of Kwan and Star googling each other, Danny witnesses Tucker’s new patent (pending) product: Foley, a deodorant spray that “combines with your natural odor to create a sweet, manly scent that smells different to everyone who sniffs it.” Interesting, it may not be a technological gadget doo-dad, but I just belief we just witness Tucker’s first major trip into invention, something he does more frequently by the third season. Can’t believe I missed that (then again, I don’t see this episode often). To Danny, Tucker smells like a sweaty cookie.
Waves of bugs then bypass over Danny’s head, signaling his ghostly sense, though not enough for him to do anything yet. Paulina enters the picture along with a trail of boys drooling over her fanciness. “So many boys, but only one you.” Paulina declares to herself, opening her locker which is fitted with Danny Phantom memorabilia. Well, someone’s leading a healthy obsession. While busy picturing Danny naked, Paulina is unaware till the last minute of one of the ghost mosquitoes phasing through her skin.
The main trios head for class, Tucker himself stopping short and declaring only an elongated "uhhhhhhhhhh" when he sees the nurse’s office. Confused Danny is informed when Sam declares he no like hospital and anything hospital related. I think it would have made better sense if Danny knew that information: the two are best friends, more so then they are with Sam. Or was Tucker just that embarrassed to tell his best buddy? Quite frankly for that matter, it took them till their 14th year for Danny to realize Tucker’s fear of--oh, let’s just move on, I’m already frustrating myself. Sam manages to push Tucker to safety via paper bag over his head.
After that brief fiasco, Danny catches a glowing Paulina--a literally glowing Paulina. Radiating like a ghost, Paulina notes to herself about the bug bite which exclamation marks Danny’s head. Quicker then you can say malaria, the billions of mosquito ghosts hound the school, biting/phasing everyone, leaving Danny to go ghost and try his durnest to suck ‘em all in. I’m also highly amused on one of the school kids sitting on the urinal during this time. Now here’s a question I’m pondering: given that size on a ghost really doesn’t matter on a Fenton Thermos (a ghost can be like forty feet and the thermos would suck them in), how much limit can you actually put into that thing? One thermos alone here is able to squeeze in hundreds of these little buggers…no pun intended.
Danny managed to capture all the bugs he saw, except the one that just entered Sam…and the dozens chasing Dash into the boy’s room. Danny opens one of the bathroom stalls after Dash mentions how sick he feels only to meet with a ghostly-green-skinned-less-muscled-cousin-to-Hulk version of him. Danny turns ghost and is close to punching him out, but then he has to go off and turn back into a human, then fade into unconsciousness. “And just one cheap shot away from a semester full of payback.” cries a dejected Danny.
The school is later quarantined, causing the riot of parents to worry, including the Fentons--Jack himself concerning over his favorite, Jazz, sniffing on a handkerchief which he gives to Danny after, armed with boogers which grossly plays a role here--though that still doesn’t force Falooka to step aside. I’m more concerned on Jack’s words: “Masters of all Time” did support evidence that Jasmine was his name idea and he spent a roll of a good time with her in “Maternal Instincts” where father and daughter discovered a lot of similarities within themselves, but I’m iffy on Jack declaring Jazz as his favorite. I never pictured Jack to be the type to announce out of the two children he has only one that olds a far greater notion in his heart. To me, Jack loves them both equally, always.
Tucker hops in and shows Danny one of the ghost mosquito he caught. Danny quickly tells him to get rid of it until Techno Geek points out how docile it is, ain’t phasing or biting or nothing. The answer: Foley, by Tucker Foley. “Wow, it’s not just repellant, it’s a repellant!” The doors of the quarantine section opens to reveal a ghoulish man: Dr. Bert Rand. Maddie questions his position (“Sure, let’s go with that” is his favorite word here) before Dr. Bert reassures the parents that their children are in good hands…and will be all transferred to the “creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town”. Does the words “Spooky roller disco” mean anything to anyone or at least the Simpsons fans? Naturally, to the parents, this is a controversy issue:
Jack: Oh, yeah, and just why should we trust you?Dr. Bert: Because I’m with the government and I can audit your taxes if you don’t.
Jack: We trust you.
Well, problem solved, through blackmail no less. It's the inhumane way; feel good story of the year. Not for Danny who suspects Dr. Bert and drags a poor freaked out Tucker to the North Mercy (No Mercy) hospital. Danny Phantom can’t enter the hospital, armed via a ghost shield, raising Danny’s suspicion even more (though Dr. Bert could merely make a case that all the children’s ghostly related ailments are indeed a reason for the shield).The only way in is as a human, so he plays the role of sick ghostly child (using his ghost powers as evidence to get in) while Tucker keeps himself busy by staying away from the hospital (and catching up with the futuristic looking bodyguards, WTF), armed with only a Fenton Lipstick: “It’s a lipstick and an Ecto blaster, because I’m worth it”. Someone make a fake ad for this now, it’ll be oh so hilarious. Dr. Bert takes in the “sick” Danny while giving a thumbs up to a shadowy figure above.
Dr. Bert wheels Danny through the hospital (I‘m getting a creepy Silent Hill 3 vibe), giving the boy a good chance to eye the sick children, all green to the core and sick as…umm…sick people. Hey, my wit can only take me so far. A random band kid bypasses them, trying to handle his invisibility, forcing Dr. Bert to leave his current patient to give chase. Am I the only one questioning a doctor leaving his patient alone?! Not even a cry for a nurse to watch him? Clearly Danny has every right to be suspicious. Story wise, this is the perfect time for Danny to leave and scan the hospital for the source of the strange activities plaguing the kiddies. After witnessing Kwan duplicating himself in eight, then panicking over it (with Danny jealously mulling over his failed attempts at multiplying), he finds Jazz......’s head in a jar. The rest of her body is ghostly wisps. Before either of them can speak to one another, Danny hears a scream. He turns Jazz’s head away and goes ghost. Note to Danny: crying out “I’m going ghost” only works for a deaf person. You’re just damn lucky Jazz already knows your secret…in secret.
Danny flies in to see Paulina, happy now that the ghost boy is here. However the source of the screech isn’t from her, but from her roommate Sam who only did so because she’s stuck in a “sleepover with Paulina”, one which Danny wouldn’t mind. Oh, you dirty little boy. Danny returns to Paulina when she calls out for her, leaving Sam with her own problems: floating problems. There, Danny gets info on the hospitals lack of support or any hint of what they plan to do with ‘em, only just dropping them off for unknown reasons--all the while as she makes little insults towards an angry (and more then likely, jealous) Sam. Danny then ties Sam to the bedpost to prevent her from getting intimate with the the ceiling. Dr. Bert enters afterwards, gassing everyone to sleep, then he transforms into his frequent human form: Bertrand, Spectra’s assistant. Hitting himself mentally for not figuring out Bert Rand and Bertand as the same [obvious] deal, Danny falls to sleep.
Danny wakes up on an operation table, restrained by Ectoplasmic belts. He then gets a reunion with the Queen of Psychotic, Spectra. DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUM. Meanwhile, Tucker hangs around behind a bush until he hears Danny’s cries for help. Reluctant, Tucker sprays himself with his Foley deodorant when approaching the ghost guards whom coughs upon smelling it (“Oh, please, you’re ghosts, do you have any idea what you smell like?”--I wasn’t aware ghosts even had a scent), then blasts them away with the Fenton lipstick, a case of the smaller the better. Enhancing his confidence…a bit, Tucker enters the reigns of his own nightmare fuel.
Dressed in hospital garbs, Tucker sneaks in and reunites with Sam, still floating. Stuck with her own dilemma, she sends Tucker to do the grunt work, opening up a ventilation shaft for him. Tucker in return hogties her legs to one of them liquid-y packets on racks. For the life of me, the name of what it was called escapes me (if you know the proper term, please inform me). Spectra meanwhile reveals Danny’s plans: to get the kids into one location and steal the best of their qualities for her new human suit (creeeeeepy, if not poor taste in fashion; flames were so last year only made fashionable by Gankutsuou’s The Count). The ghost powers are mere side effects that’ll eventually burn them all out into “withered husks”. Well, that would make an interesting class photo. Spectra needs Danny as the final key, his ghost powers giving her suit stability so that it’ll never burn out and never grows old. Stuffing Danny into a large compartment, a vacuum comes out from one of it’s layered walls (I kinda expected something more nightmare fuel), trying to suck in Danny’s…DNA or something. He provides the Fenton gene well by having it suck up Jack’s booger-infested handkerchief. Ewww, seriously, why would anyone wanna stuff that in their pocket? Spectra believes otherwise and makes off with her new suit. Number one Rule for all villains, NEVER EVER leave the hero alone, he will escape.
In this case, it’s Tucker who frees Danny (who’s surprised he managed to barge his way in) with the Fenton lipstick, all in dramatic galore. They fly towards Bertrand who's stuck babysitting Dash, currently engross to the TV. Danny smacks Bertrand with an Ecto-Ray, a simple maneuver enough to conjure his inner demon: literally. He turns into a hospital garbed Hulk with the top part of his head missing, scalpel included, not sold in stores. Batteries optional. Dash quickly runs off while Tucker puts up a bold front with his lipstick: “This thing both moisturizes and repairs damage from the wind and sun.” He’s really getting into that thing. Bertrand smacks it away and almost KEELS Tucker until Danny steps in and Fenton Thermoses him--but not before saving Paulina before she had a chance to use the Fenton lipstick from BBQ-ing her and incurring Sam’s wrath with a boot on the head.
Spectra makes her grand entrance and she and Danny play around for a bit before getting Head-in-a-Jar-Jazz involved. Spectra chucks her towards Danny until Kwan and the other octupulets join in and play football with her. I think he’s really enjoying his powers. Luckily Tucker manages to catch her in time before any more nonsense can be held, leaving Danny to deal with Spectra once more. Overpowering him, Spectra’s full power kicks in, transforming her into…a female Jack Fenton. At least his physique. Added with the boogers, she turns into a literal walking phlegm, something only the Swamp Thing would be proud of in terms of physical appearance, the rest of us, revolting. Danny and Spectra continue to dish it out while Tucker gets the idea to use the hospital’s air conditioner (it works…in an abandoned hospital?) to spray his deodorant to drive out all the ghost mosquitoes, restoring the children to normal. One final hit from Danny and Spectra’s sticky remains garner the walls, giving him the edge to suck her (and the bugs) into the Fenton Thermos. My advice, don’t watch this entire scene while eating.
Danny congratulates Tucker for his bravery, something he himself is proud of (though I refuse to believe he’s claim that this is his first hospital trip, surely he must’ve been there before, if not to emphasize the fear he holds for them; couldn’t the writers have just added that it was his first trip willingly?). Whatever, the episode’s almost done, the only thing left now being Sam crashing onto Tucker, resulting in his broken leg…and a stay at the Amity hospital. Danny and Sam quickly leave after their condolences (as well as the Fentons who are under the impression that none of the children’s illness are ghost related, declaring humans can’t have ghost powers) when an old man is wheeled into Tucker’s room as his new roommate. There he chats about his time, leaving poor Tucker to get the full brunt of his ramblings as the two teens make off like weasels. You guys are cheap friends.
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Article Written in: Mar. 10, 2008
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