TITLE: "13": Coincidentally the 13th episode, intentional, I bet
LOGO: "2-Wheeled Terror!"
EPISODE #: 13
SEASON: 1
AIRDATE: November 5, 2004
DIRECTOR: Butch Hartman, Wincat Alcala, Juli Hashiguchi
STORY: Steve Marmel
WRITERS: Sib Ventress, Marty Isenberg
STORYBOARD: Chris Graham, Ray Angrum
ART DIRECTIONS: Bob Boyle
MUSIC: Guy Moon
APPEARANCE: Cute Asian Chick, a fat dude and bunches of kid Danny rescue, one falls in a ball pit (1st appearance), Main Trio, Jazz, Fenton Folks
GHOST APPEARANCE: Johnny 13 and Shadow, Kitty, Wolf, Snake, and Squid ghosts, bunches of other ghosts whom has the dishonor of probably never being seen ever again (1st appearance), Ember McLain
FENTON GADGET APPEARANCE: Fenton Anti-Creep Stick (1st appearance), Fenton Genetic Lock
LESSON: One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
SUMMARY: Amity Park, a safe place to live or at least that’s what the government wants you to think. Danny is hounded by a giant squid ghost which after nearly being inked, he Fenton Thermoses it. Sam quickly calls him and cries out in panic of a “wolf thing” at the Nasty Burger. Flying over, we see Sam cornered by a wolf (it’s not a wolf thing, it’s an actual wolf, it’s just bigger then normal and ghostly, Goth kid). Danny sucks up wolf ghost, then Tucker calls for help. Running away from giant snake ghost at the park, the geek trips over his own technology and almost suffers the consequences of being in the bottom of the food chain until Danny tackles him down, all as he musters over who the shit keeps letting out all these ghosts (they're appearing more frequently then usual). I’ll give you three guesses. Jack shows off to Maddie and Jazz his new Genetic Lock for the Ghost Portal so only a Fenton can open it. Naturally, he’s so set on emphasizing it that he keeps pushing the damn button like his entire family is on ADD, releasing one ghost per button press, unbeknownst to the three. There’s an entire line of ghosts just waiting to get out with the only one anyone will be familiar with being Ember (although I swear that masked guy in white next to her I’ve seen in another TV show or some form of pop cultural media).
Cruising by is Johnny 13, his bad luck Shadow, and Kitty, his gal pal, riding on a sweeeeeeeet motorcycle. Let it be known on record now that motorcycles are the pinnacle of vehicular awesomeness, right up there with the bi-plane. Any who, Johnny decides to be a complete bastard and cut in line to get across, telling his Shadow to hold the portal. As it does so, Johnny and Kitty barely manage to get across when the gates close and zaps Kitty. Unable to successfully maintain her form, she’s “split between here and the Ghost Zone”, so she spreads her energy to her jacket, ring, and scarf and tells her boyfriend to find her a host to don them so she can possess their body for--I don’t know--all eternity? Then she says she’s got to go back to the Ghost Zone. Wait, back? I thought she basically said she’s stuck between Earth and the Ghost Zone and considering she actually STAYS in that one area throughout the rest of this episode, I stand to assume that is the fact. She however fizzles away leaving her man to do all the dirty work. She’ll make one demanding wife, I’ll say. Jack again presses the button and out pops Johnny like a wine cork. The family once again proves to be deaf when they can’t even hear the brief sounds of a feckin’ motorcycle breezing through them. Jack asks where Danny is so he can show off his crap, causing Jazz to automatically step forth and make up an excuse for him, “Well, I’m sure wherever he is, it has nothing to do with ghosts at all.” While they mull over this, Johnny eyeballs Jazz, “Hello, new girlfriend”. GEEZ, I wonder who’s the lucky girl that has the honor of getting down Johnny’s pants?
Tucker apparently must have left ghost hunting duty since he predictably ended up chatting with an Asian chick (couldn’t the directors at least have Tucker spot the girl beforehand?). The Asian chick is actually undeniably adorable looking. Her facial figure is cute and if I was bisexual or lesbian, I’d hit that. Wait, let me rephrase that, if she wasn’t 14 (one assumes) or I was 14, I’d hit that. Any who, he asks her out and she surprisingly answers “yes”. This shocks Tucker, too, so he goofs up from the excitement by showcasing his technology to try and get her e-mail address or phone number or something. The girl is put off and walks away, calling him a “Techno-Geek” in a derogatory manner. He claims he’s not, smashes his technology on the ground, and then immediately smothers over his broken goods in regret.
Danny meanwhile continues to handle the same ghosts he’s been fighting in the previous two minutes before the title song. He captures the snake ghost by the time Johnny drives past him. He communicates with Kitty via a ring on his finger (Hey, driving and talking on the phone is liable for an accident, buddy!) where she basically bitches at his sloth-like behavior on finding a chick. Would you relax, he JUST got out of the Ghost Zone...even if he already did found a chick. Johnny apparently enjoys lying to his girlfriend since he claims he hadn't found one yet. What a lousy boyfriend. Danny catches up to him and a battle ensures when Johnny sends Shadow after him. No time for an introduction and they already assume they’re enemies, that’s justice for ya. Shadow sics Danny, ultimately slicing a lamppost that nearly smacks the kid into getting a flattened face no moment of plastic surgery could cure. I mean, if they couldn't fix Moe Szyslak, what hopes do they have here? He rolls away in time though, but his Fenton Thermos suffers from it, releasing the ghosts he caught before. Rotten luck indeed. Johnny watches from atop a building as the moonlight shines, his cape flapping in the breeze, but Batman he ain’t.
The carnival at the docks the next day shows our young hero grumbling about his loss on victory over Johnny as well as the other loose ghosts. Tucker and Sam tries to help, but is sidetracked when Kwan takes his PDA and mocks him. Tired of being labeled a techno-geek, Tucker decides it’s time to reshape himself into a new and improved Tucker. Meanwhile Jazz oggles clown paintings and makes philosophical theories on ‘em. I’m just creeped out. CLOWNS. ARE. SCARY. PERIOD.
Johnny rides the cable wires and points out Jazz to Kitty via the ring. She generally approves, so thusly he sends his Shadow. Tucker meanwhile walks under a ladder while lamenting his current lifestyle to his friends before walking into Dash’s fist. He and Kwan decide to call him “Bad Luck Tuck” which plays into affect when he leans against a trunk. Shadow causes the truck to move and crash to the roller coaster support rails, sending the coaster flying off. Danny turns ghost and saves the people there, but misses a kid. Since it’s generally a stable rule that kids can't/don't die in the media, the boy survives by miraculously landing inside a ball pit. Jazz is less lucky as the coaster heads straight for her. Unable to react in time, Danny can only watch in horror. Thankfully, much to her--ahem--luck, Johnny saves her life and instantly, she becomes smitten with her in a rare moment outside of her usual adult mind cuz’ this kid has a schoolgirl crush. Introducing themselves, Johnny flirts with her (calling her “kitten”) and hands her Kitty’s scarf, stating it’ll look good on her. Jazz must be seriously hormonal if she doesn’t even question the immediate gift he gave her which generally indicates they’re rushing way too fast. They're still strangers, for Pete's sake! Any who, the scarf makes her eyes glow briefly, probably causing her to further separate her actual mind for that of lust for Johnny (after all, it has Kitty’s energy). Danny is just relieved Jazz is all right, but Johnny immediately degrades the kid to which Danny returns, especially considering who he is. Jazz elbows her brother, and then rides home with him as Danny watches in utter shock. Then the school bullies further teases Tucker.
Back at Fenton Works, Johnny and Jazz chat, then he hands her Kitty’s jacket, further possessing her, even so that she’s already willing to kiss him if not for Danny who storms in, glares, then walks to another room. Johnny asks for some privacy and she takes him to the Fenton basement where she showcases the Fenton Portal, probably on his request. Then she claims Danny won’t bother them here. Umm…why? It’s not like Danny isn’t allowed in the basement nor does he avoid it. Danny cleverly plays the role of tattletale as he sends his parents down where they criticize Jazz for letting “unauthorized people” in. Pissed, Johnny storms off, leaving a grumpy Jazz who states how Danny is ridiculously similar to his parents (he speaks in unison with them in this scene). Danny and his folks deny such a claim, again speaking in unison.
School the next day doesn’t fare much better. Danny complains about his possible similarities to his parents (well, you ARE their spawn) while Tucker is frustrated on his new reputation as Mr. Bad Luck. That is SO not the image he wanted. Shadow comes over to further pick on the poor kid by getting him to accidentally toss his spoon. Somehow, a flimsy plastic spoon has the power to cut open a beehive, sending out thousands of worker bees to the crowd. Tucker is later met with bee infected angry kids. I assume Danny and Sam were victims, too, but we never get to see if they got hive'd. Jazz meanwhile meets with Johnny. Through the magic of animation, Tucker is cured of his bee stings by the time Danny’s ghost sense lets loose as they walk home. Johnny bypasses them with Jazz on tow, so he gives chase. Johnny sends off Shadow again as he and Jazz spend a leisurely good time in a very pink, but rather nicely colored background. There he gives Jazz Kitty’s ring (THE ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL!) despite stating how quickly he’s rushing the relationship (well, at least he notices) while Danny is horrified of how in common he is with his father after having uttered “Suffering Spooks”. Danny, welcome to Vlad’s open arms; your hatred of being compared to Jack turns him completely on. The Shadow basically envelopes Danny afterwards; the kid struggles to get out. I’m getting vibes from a similar scene in Batman Beyond’s “Inque” episode. Shame Shadow doesn’t basically jam himself down Danny’s throat to kill him. That’s still one of the creepiest, yet awesome ways a villain has to tried to kill the hero. Danny uses his Ecto Rays to fly and discovers Shadow hates bright light. Spotting the glowing signs of a nearby cinema, Danny gets an idea.
In the same theater, Tucker’s reputation even abhors to the movies. Sam steps in and states he should be a Goth, even managing to fish out a black beret (courtesy of the magic bags of Merlin industry). Obviously, she’s been preparing this speech for some time. Danny and Shadow invisibility phases through a popcorn machine, the latter’s bad luck causing the thing to set on high and overload the entire theater with popcorn goodness. Everybody grab some butter and start eatin’. Tucker also agrees to go Goth as well. Oh, and Shadow got bright-lited when Danny lures him to a movie theater, the film lights dissipating him for the time.
Getting back to Johnny and Jazz, he’s about to slip the ring (THE ONE RING TO FIND THEM!) onto her after Shadow returns to him (giving him a worried look) until Danny works his brain and interrupts by literally landing in front of them from above a tree. Ouch. A pissed off Jazz tells him off to her parents who angrily orders him to cease and desist his actions while secretly praising him for spying.
The next day at school, Danny is shocked and possibly horrified to see Tucker in complete Goth mode. He’s got the black clothes, messy hair, and darkening scowl and everything, although in Sam’s eyes, he’s a little rusty, so she goes off to work on him (eyeliner and black nail polish) while Danny handles his problem. SOME friends.
Nighttime arrives on Fenton Works (Good God, there’s a lot of days passing in this episode) when Johnny eyes Jazz from below. She asks Johnny to come up to listen to some CDs despite taking her DOWN to the basement lab. CDs is probably a codename for "sex" anyways. Danny butts in once again and tries to snap Jazz out of this mess, loosening the jacket and scarf she donned, causing Johnny to go to Plan “B” and do it the hard way. After getting Shadow to kill the kid via smacking a giant desk drawer on him, a horrified Jazz watches as Johnny and Shadow slips the jacket+scarf and ring (ONE RING TO BRING THEM ALL...) on her and gets her to open the Fenton Portal. I swear the music is too dramatic for this scene, seriously. Kitty and Jazz are apparently about to switch (wait, I thought Kitty was gonna POSSESS her) until Danny phases the ring out of her hands (...AND IN THE DARKNESS BIND THEM!). He flies off with Shadow giving chase. Oh, and Kitty definitely doesn’t look fried up now. What happen to all the sizzling, static-ish reactions she joined out earlier?
Danny calls his friends, the two inside somewhere. Tucker basically complains about the make-up, but she ignores him and fetches out an earring, something Tucker would rather not have his ears touch, although she claims it’s not for his ears. Would it be wrong if I said her statement had me picturing her placing that thing where the sun don’t shine? That stated, Tucker decides to go back to his original Techno-Geek form, discovering Sam had used reverse psychology in order for him to realize that. He picks up Danny’s phone after that, the latter who for very odd reason comments on his hair like it’s the first time he’s seen it. *snorts* NOT!
Johnny meanwhile barricades the parents inside their own room upon the two hearing noises. Jack pounds the shit out of that door and makes a dent, yet no matter how many beatings he gives that thing, he still can’t get out. A man of his size and strength, you’d think he’d be able to. Don’t those two have Fenton weapons in their own room that they can escape with? Bah, forget it, Danny helped. He invisibly phases through the folks’ door and down to the basement with Shadow following behind, causing the door to weaken enough for them to escape. He then lures Shadow into the Fenton Genetic Lock machine, destroying it and causing Kitty and Johnny’s little hand touching moment of sweetness to fade while Jazz just stands there like a catatonic statue. Pissed off, Johnny and Shadow reunite as the two continuously chase after Danny. Same for the Fenton folks who’s armed with the Fenton Anti-Creep Stick (just a regular baseball bat) to beat the shit with. Nice to know these parents don’t mind supporting violence in front of their kids.
Danny manages to lure Johnny's Shadow to a baseball field where Tucker rewires the lights so they center and blind the living--deading--crap out of him. Without his Shadow, Johnny gets a smack down from Danny and Fenton Thermos'd. What an elaborate plan that could have been solved by flashing a friggin’ flashlight. The Fenton folks come in to beat up Johnny only to see their own son beat him to it (no pun intended). The Fenton folks and Danny return home where Jazz thanks his brother and his folks basically praising/shoving their similarities to him. As a reward by school next day, Danny’s decked in one of his father’s hazmat suit (poor guy’s gonna be tripping up stairs wearing that garb) against his will. Dash and Kwan decides to take this opportunity to torture Danny once more and Tucker isn’t helping any bit.
To "13" ReviewTo "Public Enemies"
Back to Episodes Page
Article Written revised in: Somewhere between February and March, 2007
Layout design by OKami_hu, 2009